Making the Leap!!

As some of you may, or may not know, I've decided to make the leap into YouTube. Now, I'm not able to edit just yet, or do anything fancy, but I'm still putting myself out there and I will learn as I go along.

I won't be doing tutorials, because there are people out there VASTLY more qualified than I, so...I'll just leave it to them.

What I will be doing is uploading reviews and favorites and the like....

Here's my June/July "Things I'm Loving" Video!

Red Lips and The Final Chapter in my Struggle...

Most who know me will probably say I'm pretty easy to talk to, that I'm loud, bubby and always happy to see people. Well, I hope that's what they would say!! But people who know me very well know that I can be those things, but I can also be withdrawn, worrisome and obsessive when I get into a dark place...

Let me tell you a secret. The front I put up (though I don't like to call it a "front" because it doesn't have a good connotation) when I go out and interact with people is easy, breezy, confident, like I couldn't care less who says what to me or about me. And for the most part that would be true. But for the last few years I've struggled with crippling anxiety, been really sad (though not clinically depressed) and spent more than a few nights alone thinking about death. I had, at one point, a team of mental health doctors who helped me to verbalise everything every so often, and I was on a ton of medication at one point, but I've been off the tablets for a while now and everything is level without them. Life used to be a daily struggle. I was afraid. Afraid of being myself, of being weird and loud, not making sense, being too nice, being too strange, and mostly afraid of trying new things.

An Open Letter

Hey beautiful,

I know you are reading this because you struggle with something. You fight every day, with demons, unbeknownst to those around you. You hide away from people. I know, because I do it too. It helps. Or at least you think it helps. Let me correct myself. WE think it helps. But it doesn't help as much as we would like to believe it does. I know you keep your guard up, you keep people out. The mentality is "Well if I don't let them in, they can't leave, and then they can't hurt me...". It seems like the best option, the best way to safe guard your heart. I also know this. We're more alike than you think, eh?

So you have demons. Nobody knows what you deal with day-to-day. Do you cry when you're alone? Do you zone out of conversations to think about dying? Do you cut or burn yourself? Has something bad happened in your past? Have you something you need to tell someone, but are afraid to?

I know that what you're about to read is scary. But please, keep reading. Tell somebody. You have the power to make things better. The only way things will get better is if you share the problem. There's a good reason "A problem shared, is a problem halved" is such a great saying. The truth has a way of hiding itself in cliché little phrases. Silly, huh? But so true. Talking to someone will help, even if you don't believe me, I feel qualified to say this, because I thought the same, until I did it... Talking really helps, I promise you. Tell your best friend, your boyfriend, girlfriend, your sister or brother. Talk it out. Cry. Remember that pain is temporary. 

Tell someone. Use a peer counselling service, if you have to. Things wont always suck so bad. Please, just remember that. Someone out there needs you to remember that. You are loved and treasured, even if people don't say it.

Love Always,
Amy,
xo

Another Update... Including TWIM Vol. 2

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in well over a week. I've been thinking about this blog for days and days but I've been so busy getting ready for Chris's ball, and then I was sick and exhausted, but I'm here now and I'm getting back on top of things. Yay!

First, let me start by posting some nail pics!

I rocked this all of last week.
The ring finger is an Urbanista Nail Foil...

Currently rocking this shade...
Essence Nude Glam
Iced Strawberry Cream

Both of these Essence polishes retail for €1.89 and the quality is amazing, completely rivaling the formula of some higher priced ones. 

Next up!! 

Suited and booted, ready to rock'n'roll!!

I Think I've Found It!!!

My Niche, that is. 

A good chat with a good friend (Thanks Darragh!!) tonight has drawn me to the conclusion that helping people not only makes the people I talk to and help, happy, but it makes me happy too. It gives me a sense of purpose. 

Well. 
This is new. 
Having a genuine idea what my life could be spent doing?!

Totes bizarre!! I've never known what I want to do. Holy shit! Excuse me while I promptly freak out!! 

Hmmmmmm *breathes loudly*

Well when Chris wakes up tomorrow he better be as jazzed as I am!! 

Draw Your Own Conclusions...

Some people say that red-heads have fiery tempers. That we are easily angered and cant control our tempers like other people (blondes, brunettes) can. 

Maybe that's true. Maybe it isn't. But I can say for myself, that I can find it hard at times to control my emotions. Jesus, I've spent the last 18 months in and out of psychiatrists and psychologists offices to help me with the things that hamper me. I used to live in perpetual sadness. I was always miserable, even when it would seem to the world that I was happy, happy, happy! I got good at lying to everyone around me. 

Book Review: Now Is Good

So...Books!

I love books. I always have. I go in and out of phases of reading but lately I'm all about buying books.

Don't get me wrong, I have a Kindle and I love it, but its nice to hold a book in your hands, get the smell of the pages and have the motion of actually turning a page, rather than clicking a button... With that said, the Kindle has its positive points too, such as, when I have it in my bag, I have 70, 80, 90+ books in one place without it ever gaining one single ounce!

I was thinking of reviewing the books I read, to see what interest is out there for it. I am currently reading "Assassins Creed: Brotherhood", but I have recently finished "Now is Good" and "Beastly" so I may review them in due course.

Actually. Screw it. I'm going to review "Now Is Good", right here, right now!

Da da da da da daaaaaaaa!!!

Lets Get Started!!

So, Um... Hi, Everyone!! *waves*

Lets start with the introductions, I suppose. I'm Amy, I'm 20, though nearer to 21 at this point, and I'm...well, I'm just me. Always have been. I'm the walking, talking, living embodiment of someone who is just themselves and no more.

I enjoy things, and I loathe things, as do most people, I guess. I love the little things, good tea, mature cheese, a catchy beat, expensive sports, and being in love. I also love the big things; Friends, family and the value of a smile.

But, for every good, there is a bad. I hate being made feel bad, I hate liars, bigots (and for both of those certain people spring to mind!) and people who seek to take away another persons right to do the things they want to do. Unless its illegal! I hate Barry's Tea. Hate. It. I cannot abide the stuff. I hate fighting with people, or people fighting with each other. Making people happy is something I strive to do.

So now, the random things. I am ginger, a clean freak, happy, sad, madly in love, an admirer of fashion, a worrier, a lover, a hugger, a giver of pet names, into music, a huge fan of HIM and generally an open book!

I will talk about almost anything, and that includes face to face. So, hopefully on this I will be able to do the same.

Look out for book reviews, movie reviews, fashion, make-up, life and everything else in between!

Oh! And here's a picture of me (and my boyfriend, Chris)!!

Le Grá,

Amy