Most who know me will probably say I'm pretty easy to talk to, that I'm loud, bubby and always happy to see people. Well, I hope that's what they would say!! But people who know me very well know that I can be those things, but I can also be withdrawn, worrisome and obsessive when I get into a dark place...
Let me tell you a secret. The front I put up (though I don't like to call it a "front" because it doesn't have a good connotation) when I go out and interact with people is easy, breezy, confident, like I couldn't care less who says what to me or about me. And for the most part that would be true. But for the last few years I've struggled with crippling anxiety, been really sad (though not clinically depressed) and spent more than a few nights alone thinking about death. I had, at one point, a team of mental health doctors who helped me to verbalise everything every so often, and I was on a ton of medication at one point, but I've been off the tablets for a while now and everything is level without them. Life used to be a daily struggle. I was afraid. Afraid of being myself, of being weird and loud, not making sense, being too nice, being too strange, and mostly afraid of trying new things.
