Lip Service: Minimalism and Pink Converse

So I was watching through some content on YouTube as I do on an almost obsessive basis, and I happened across Matt D'Avella, eventually finding my way to this video here:

Something about this video struck me. This idea that is perpetuated in elitist minimalist circles that you can't be part of their super exclusive club if you don't conform to strict ideals of what it means to be a minimalist.

You cant be a minimalist if you're a bookworm. 
You cant be a minimalist if you're a CEO. 
You cant be a minimalist if you're a beauty blogger. 
You cant be a minimalist if you're...

Heres the thing. I'm striving to be less cluttered and I find certain things, not everything now mind you, but certain things weigh on my mind. My clothing collection is one. I have three wardrobes on two continents. Fuck that. Who needs that? I should be able to happily store my stuff in one place. Not three.

If for me, minimalism is denoted by not having a bi-continental wardrobe, but rather having a few items I love dearly, and eight pairs of shoes, then that's what minimalism means.

Minimalism is relative. RE-LA-TIVE!!! If you are a clothing hoarder, and you cut your wardrobe down to half, and you staunch your shopping habit, then good on ya! I commend you for making a positive change in your life.

My motivation for minimizing is to declutter my space, both brain space and my surroundings.

I can be a minimalist if I truly want to move towards a lifestyle of less.

So how do I get to that end goal? To that lifestyle of less.

I've been ruminating on what actions I can take to get me to a place where I can feel I am functioning as a minimalist relative to my old self, and parting with things I don't miss, don't love and don't want anymore is going to be the first step. Starting with a fresh clean slate is important to me, and I want to be sure I get off on the right footing. Part of this means untangling the sentimentality that runs through each and every item I own.

If you're wondering why I have a picture of a pair of Converse in this blog post - a tatty dirty pair, to that end, I will tell you the answer is two-fold.

The first reason is that these were the first truly difficult item I came across. I know they hurt my feet now, they're past their best, and they need to go, but I love them. How can I get rid of a pair of shoes that served me so faithfully for so long? How can I just cast them aside like they don't matter? Like they mean nothing? What kind of person just dumps something she loves like this?

Do you see a pattern forming in the thoughts and questions here? Cause I do!!

I had to be very firm with myself and say, "Amy, they're shoes. They don't have feelings, nor are they capable of complex thought. They're literally some rubber soles, fabric and lacing to cover your feet. Get over yourself."

And the thing is, I know that is right. I know that it's true that they've served me faithfully, and that by continuing to cling to them, they are simply occupying physical space in my life, as well as occupying mental space. By continuing to keep hold of these tatty trainers, I am giving power to the part of my brain that forms silly attachments. They're shoes, not my childhood bear.

The second reason I borrowed from the gentleman above too, but from a different video. If taking a picture of them and keeping that picture helps to in some way placate the part of me that needs to be sentimental, then so be it. I can take these pictures, rid myself of the item, collate the item to a digital album that keeps them organized and safe while moving on with my life. I can keep a record of the things I have appreciated and loved in my life, while also being free to live my life unencumbered by stuff. 

I managed to have a stern word with myself, and then snap a picture and just... deep breath... let them go. Exhale. Immediately I felt lighter.

There are obvious areas in my life where I can't live a spartan existence. I have a very very nice record player and collection of vinyl, and while I might be able to donate or resell a few records, I wouldn't dream of slashing it down just to fit some idealized vision of a minimalist lifestyle. Again, this all just brings home the idea of minimalism being a relative concept, a relative lifestyle.

At the end of the day, you don't have anything to prove to me, to the elitist minimalists who only own 100 items, to anyone! You have to blaze your own trail and in doing so, you will come to learn what minimalism means to you and how it works best for your life.

I hope this has been useful to you, and I hope you are enjoying your journey!

Amy xo 

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Lip Service: Bullies On The Tellybox

***This post is intended to educate, and hopefully inspire some conversations. This post is not intended to offend anyone, but it was spurred by this: 

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. I was bullied all through my life. On one occasion I was assaulted by someone younger than me who had a disdain for my hair and freckles. I used to be forced to go to the shop and buy those little cola flavoured frosty sweets in the red packet for two girls older than me and because of them I used to miss my bus home from school which made me scared and upset because I did not want to get in trouble at home when my school life was pretty bleak at the time. That was primary school. Secondary school was pretty bad for the first year, but eventually you find your friends and you carve your groove and things settle. That's fine for me, but what about the bullies?? Well bullies grow up, as we all do. Sometimes they change. In fact I would argue that the majority do. But sometimes bullies grow up, and then they get on the telly. 

So I'd be willing to bet that Katie Hopkins was one of those people, who as a kid had some misplaced belief that she was better than others around her, with a need to put people down to prove it, and grew up not letting go of that silly idea. Last night, (11th March 2015) at around 11.30pm, there was a debate on The Nolan Show, on BBC1 Northern Ireland with herself, and Baz Black. Now I've had the pleasure of speaking to Baz a few times, and his lovely lady Emma is the mastermind behind my latest tattoo, so I'm not just making stuff up when I say that he is a lovely chap, well spoken and a gentleman. His studio is my boyfriends local place, and it's one of two in the country that I trust completely. So when he was taking on Katie Hopkins, it was going to be good. If anyone has the metal to take on a grown-up bully like her on a live broadcast, its someone calm and educated in the topic at hand. 

Bullies will back down at the first sign of authority, and with 80% of his body tattooed, as Baz said himself, there's nobody else better equipped to take this one on.  Katie made her point that we all know and to be frank, it's getting old now: "I wouldn't employ someone with tattoos". Yes Katie, we know. What I didn't comprehend until last night though, was how much of a bully she is when she's not being agreed with. 

Baz made some very sound points about her lack of knowledge, her "opinion" being just that - an opinion, and then went on to remind her that the industry of modification is something she has absolutely no information on, unlike a whopping 22 million people in the UK. She doesn't understand and like a lot of bullies in the school-yard, she has no basis for the points she makes. She criticizes without understanding, and as a fully grown woman, it's pathetic... I'm sure if I met her, dressed in my usual attire of a cardigan and jeans and spoke to her like the polite, mannerly person I am, she wouldn't suspect that I've got 6 tattoos. Maybe I could even have her formulate a positive opinion, employ me and then unveil myself from below the neck! Wouldn't that be fun?! 

A great point was made about the industry wherein Baz works, that it is his passion. It's not just a job, it's not about money or anything, it's a love for the culture, the meaning and everything that goes along with it. For people who get mod work done, it's not just an action, it's not a destination, it's a journey, it's a whole experience and it's something you have with you for life. The question was put to her: "Why do you have your ears pierced?", to which the weak and feeble response came, "Because I thought it would be easier to put earrings in..." Have you ever heard such a pathetic excuse in your life?! Ear lobe piercings are a mod. That point alone rendered everything she had said and continued to say totally invalid. 

This was where this post was decided on: When Katie saw that the debate was clearly favouring the well educated and calm side in favour of mods, she then attacked Stephen Nolan, the host. Her loathing for obesity came out and she actually brought the audience and his MOTHER into it!! Who does that? Who humiliates a grown man on national television as part of some last ditch attempt to prove some pathetic point? All she did was prove to me that she is a bully and a bigot, prejudiced against everything that makes her uncomfortable, and there was no coming back from that. 

Of course I'm aware that some people don't like mods, my boyfriend of 4 years doesn't understand them but he doesn't go around with any illusions that people who are modified are any more or less unremarkable than anyone else. Just because people like being poked and coloured in does not give Katie Hopkins the power to use it as a stick to beat people with. 

In the end, bullies are cowards.So why do we let them on the telly??

Lip Service - Driving Me Mad (#1)

Image: Prezi.com

I'm only a learner driver, and even saying that makes me feel like I should not even be writing this post. However I need a good rant and maybe this will educate a few. All of these rants are car related and pertain to driving. This post has a lot of language. I'm sorry in advance...

1. If You Can't Pay Attention Solely To The Road, You Don't Deserve Your License. 

This one really fucking bothers me, because it's SO bloody dangerous. I would sooner walk to my local village, 40 minutes away on the hoof, than get into the car with someone who looks into every driveway of every house on the road, commenting on everything they see. If you want to look around you, I'll drive and you can be the passenger. The same goes for looking at everything in the car but out the windscreen. If you can't let someone alter the air conditioning without double checking, I'm not getting in the car with you.

2. Know Your Fucking Lane Approaching A Roundabout. 

How some people passed their test is beyond me! The rules of the road has a whole chapter dedicated to this, for fuck sake!!! The left lane is for the immediate left turn. The right lane is for second and subsequent exits. You would have had to know this in order to pass your test. The two lanes are there for a reason, believe it or not!!! You don't get into the left lane and then go around the whole roundabout to take the last exist. Also, while we're on the subject, USE YOUR INDICATORS PROPERLY!!!!! If you're in the right lane, going all the way around to the last exit or to the very right, you put on your right indicator, get into your correct lane, and then when you filter into the lane to complete the action, indicate left for your exit and exit the roundabout. It's actually not hard at all.

3. The White Line IS There For A Reason, Idiot!!

If you drive along any road, glued to the white line, you are on your own, buddy. I'm not getting into the car with you. You should be in the centre of the lane, that way if someone needs to swerve out or slightly overtake something as they come towards you in the opposing lane, they're not going to wipe you out. And if perchance there is no white line, on a country road, you imagine a white line and stay to the left of it. Simples!!!

Sorry for my language. 

These things really grind my gears!! (get it?!)

xx

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Lip Service. Weight? Wait!!

Image: Pop Sugar

“A cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience.” - Naomi Wolf 

I'm pretty thin. I've never made a secret of that. Nor have I made a secret of how I've treated my body over the years. However the quote above, makes a valid point. All across papers, magazines and the TV, there are images of skinny women labelled "ideal body" and curvy, voluptuous women labelled "obese and unhealthy".
At a UK size 6-8, standing at a very respectable 5'8", and weighing in at 8 ish stone (I haven't weighted myself in 6 months), I'm probably the ideal body type. But what has taken me a very long time to learn, not just from personal experience, but thanks to my boyfriend, good friends and a love of food that far outweighs my quest for a Victoria Secret Angel body, is that my weight does not define me.

Nor does your weight define you.

How you treat people, how you conduct yourself, who you are as a human... All of that defines you. That number doesn't. Being "a twiglet" and "in need of a ham sandwich" doesn't define who I am. I'm sure if you ask people in my life who I am, they would tell you I'm a friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, niece, auntie, cousin, wench, volunteer, zumba-girl and hopefully a good person.

I haven't weighed myself in 6 months and I've never felt happier!

The scales wont tell you who you are, what your wonderful qualities are, the awfully cheesy jokes you tell at dinner and how you like your life organised.

You are beautiful.
You are special.

Throw out that scales.

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Lip Service: Ginger Nuts

It's absolutely no secret that I am an obnoxiously proud ginger, though that was not always the case. I dyed my hair all through my teenage years to get away from my true colors, as it were. However, in the recent past, from last October, I would say, there has been a wave of "pro ginger" publicity in the media, and I feel it started with the beautiful Angela Scanlons amazing documentary, Oi Ginger! 

Angela herself is a beautiful blogger and telly presenter, with the most amazing deep red locks, and her documentary was a fantastic look at the bullying, prejudice and ignorance there is surrounding the ginge. However, in my search to find the documentary in order to re-watch it, I came across a clip from The Saturday Night Show (above), wherein Brendan O'Conner mentions there being a hierarchy within the ginger culture... I have no idea why anyone would think that, to be perfectly honest. We're all ginger, and we've all been bullied. So, on we go, to look at the science and the misery... 

The Ginger Gene; The MC1R gene, is a form of Melanin with a mutation on the one of the chromosomes. This mutation has two different triggers which are responsible for the darker ginge and slightly sallower skin, which Angela has, and the lighter more flame-like red coupled with pasty, glow-in-the-dark levels of pale which I think I possess. Yeah! Science! What I'm trying to say, is that we all carry the MC1R gene, Gingers just carry a mutation, and that mutation is the same in all gingers, just presenting itself differently dependent on the individual. Therefore, there is no hierarchy, Brendan! 

ginger

A human, characterized by pale skin, freckles and bright red hair. "Gingers" are generally considered to be inferior to their more melanin-rich brethren, and thus deservingly discriminated against. Gingers are thought to have no souls. The condition, "gingervitis" is genetic and incurable. 

          The quote above is taken from Urban Dictionary.


As a kid, I was bullied quite badly for my ginger tresses and it was awful. "The roof is on fire" was a common slur during primary school, and the older I got, the worse and more vulgar the bullies got too... I was backed into corners and called such unintelligent and highly un-funny ditties as "ginger pubes" and "carrot top". The abuse did peeter out when I got past the Junior Cert, I continued to dye my noodle just to be safe, and dyed it for 2 years after I finished school. I'm not the only one who took this kind of flack, and I can prove this by sharing the Independent.ie article I was featured in, along with 4 other beautiful red-head ladies, who all have different shades of the ginge. 

We have all experienced bullying, prejudice and probably all have been afraid of people as a direct result of our hair color. We've all heard the jokes, the puns, we've seen memes on Facebook and Pinterest. 

For me, part of what helps me to be strong in the face of bigotry against the Ginge is looking at the amount of amazing, successful gingers there are in the public eye. Rupert Grint, all Potterheads favoite ginger, the Phelps twins, who played Fred and George, Christina Hendricks from Mad Men, Ed Sheeran, Tim Minchin, and my personal favorite, Karen Gillan. 

Source: Cheezburger

What I'm here to say is, screw the haters. Laugh with the people who try to belittle you. They wont continue if they don't get a reaction. Bullies want a reaction, a specific one. They want you to feel bad so they can feel good. Their power is in your pain. If you reclaim that power by laughing along with them so they don't get that powerful feeling, you will be left in peace pretty quickly. I laugh along with people when they try to make fun of my hair color, because they have no power over my self esteem anymore. Many of my friends make ginger jokes, much like "woman" jokes and I laugh because they're now funny to me.

Now, what I do want to say is there will be times you cant laugh it off. There will be times you are deeply hurt, but they won't be half as frequent if you can learn to laugh with them. 

After all, if you don't laugh, you'l cry. 

Drop me a comment, 

Let me know what you thought! 

Amy

xxx

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Lip Service: Yet Another Arsehole!

Another post that may have no real point, just a stream of consciousness...

"Opinions are like arseholes, we all have one!" Didn't someone wise say that? Well, it's true.

Having an opinion is totally fine, and expressing it is a-okay too, but to shove it down your throat like it should be another persons opinion too is absolutely not.

I come from a deeply religious family (mother, father, aunties, uncles etc) and the prevailing opinion is always somehow related to religion, or God, or has some link into the Catholic/Christian faith. Then there is me. I don't care about maintaining social "norms", because contrary to what is believed in my house, normal is a vary fluid concept, and hello! it's 2014. It's time for people to stop pining for the 19-fucking-50's and roll with the times. Let people make their decisions and stop harping on about "gays" and the like being the blame for every stupid little problem...

People who use the sexuality, nationality, color, and beliefs of any other one person are the problem, from what I can see... I'm straight, but here's a fact: I've snogged far more women than men in my life, and that's okay with me. Does that mean that I'm actually Bi or a Lesbian masquerading as a straight person for the sake of an easy life? No. It means I was a normal, curious teen and experimented a bit. It's not a huge deal and it should never matter to anyone but myself. If someone find that fact out, and they don't like it, whatever. I don't worry about things that don't matter.

If you're gay, straight, lesbian, bi, you don't conform to a sexuality, you're transgender, gender-blind, or you want to shag anything that walks; I could not give a fuck. Do you know what I care about? Your happiness, darling. Are you happy? Good. If not, then lets try to find a way to make you happy. I will only take issue with a person if I think they're doing something that will hurt another. Are you gay? Great stuff!! But if you're cheating on your partner with someone, I'll have an issue with that. Not because of your orientation, because that's just wrong and it means that there is scope to hurt somebody. Cheating is not okay, no matter what. Do you see what I mean about opinions? My only opinion for that whole paragraph was on being unfaithful to your significant other. What you are shouldn't matter; Who you are is important.

Are you black, Asian, Middle-Eastern, American or from somewhere as random as Swaziland?? Great stuff, lets talk culture, lets talk food, lets go drinking, or not if you don't fancy it! Are you Baptist? Creationist? Buddhist or Hindu? Cool beans, tell me all about it, but please don't tell me I am wrong for not having a belief. Cool? Cool! Are you a doctor? Are you a cleaner? Do you love or hate what you do? Tell me all about it and lets have a laugh.

Do you smoke? That's your thing. I won't lecture you for the choices you've made. Do you like tattoos? Or do you prefer piercings? Awesome! Let's talk experiences and compare notes.

The bottom line, I suppose is that I don't judge people for nearly anything. Now, if you offend me personally, thats another thing, and I'll cover that in another post, but for the most part, I'm a firm believer in the phrase "live and let live". I'm fed up of people judging others for things that are nothing to so with them; None of their business!!

I apologize if this was another rambley, nonsensical post! 

Amy xx

Lip Service - Venus Doom

This post may have no plan, no flow and no real point, I'm just going to see where this goes... 

**Trigger Warning: mentions of cutting and suicide**

It's no secret that I love music. I love all kinds of music, but I have always loved heavy rock and metal the best of all. I have nothing but love for HIM, my favorite band above all others. It does, however, occur to me that I paint myself as a person who advocates the taking seriously of mental health and doesn't want things such as eating disorders, self harm or suicide glamorized. So why do I feel such an affinity towards a band like HIM, who reference the suicide of Romeo and Juliet, or have lines in songs like "Oh I see your scars, I know where they're from, sensually caved and bleeding until you're dead and gone..."? The answer is simple but complex... HIM are a band that blend opposites seamlessly, love and death, joy, suffering, they can mix it all and make it work... This band may seem doom-y, but they have a distinct air of hope about them too. 

Right now, as I sit here writing this I have 17 HIM albums, which is 204 songs, all of which I know word for word. I suppose it has something to do with my mental state when I first found them. I found the song "Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly" on a Metal Hammer or Rock Sound compilation CD sometime in '07 or '08, when I was in 5th year. I knew my good friend Emma liked them so I asked her to burn me a compilation mix-cd for me and that was it. The next weekend I went to the nearest Heartbeat City (showing my age much?!) and got Venus Doom. I fell in love and let me tell you I fell HARD. As a 16/17 year old who didn't understand the way she was really feeling, Valo made sense of my (as I saw it then) messed up head. The video to the left, is a lyric video I found on YouTube of Venus Doom...

A quick trip around Google and a few mouse-clicks later and I learned that much like myself, Ville Valo was a bit of a tortured soul, suffering with his own problems, though I suppose mine were not nearly as serious, since he was killing himself with alcohol while writing the album, and once Venus Doom was recorded he was checked into rehab to detox. No matter what though, I knew I felt like a kindred spirit and identified with the themes of pain, suffering, love, hope, hopelessness and sorrow in the 9 songs of Venus Doom. I played it on repeat until I was able to lay hands on more of their music. 

"Grieve all your heart out as you writhe enthralled, in tragic, ecstatic agony... Just show me a life worth living for, light up the dark..." This lyric, from the title track, Venus Doom made me feel like I was not alone, that the pain I was feeling was not just confined to me, but that others were feeling it too, and that Valo felt it just as much as any of us. 

Fast forward 7 years and I still adore them. They seemingly glamorize self harm, suicide, but not really. I know that many would disagree with me but, at least in my eyes they are the most hopeful band I have ever encountered. As someone who had thought about nothing but dying and death until I found HIM, let me tell you, they gave me a reason to keep hoping and not to give up in the face of great pain. Give their track "Song or Suicide" a listen, it goes from a morose goodbye to a hopeful message of continuing to live, even while feeling utter anguish... 

There is always hope, even in the darkest of times... I wouldn't give a part of my body to just anyone, and I always want to be reminded of how this band gave me hope and helped me though the darkness, to find the light. 

“Once again, as you know, when you hear a song from an artist for the first time, it’s not necessarily the best song you hear… but that first impact is so important that you’ll always remember that song and it will be something special for you.”

—	Ville Valo

Valo has taught me more about love, death, joy, pain, and hope in the last seven years than I will ever be able to articulate, or even thank him for. I think if I ever met him I would try to thank him for what his words have done for me. Try. I'd probably clam up in a big way...

I'm going to leave you with some of my favorite Valo quotes... Enjoy.

“…it’s important to concentrate on the positive aspects. If you’d only see the negative things, you’d get paralyzed and incapable of doing anything at all. The world is a beautiful place. You never know what’s awaiting you at the next corner.”

—	Ville Valo

“I guess I’m celebrating the challenge of being human. Everyone’s got their struggles. You need to keep moving forward, though, and try to realise you’re not the only one.”

—	Ville Valo

“I need a soul mate so that I can be who I am, naked. I want there to be someone who picks up my heavy, bleeding heart and takes it somewhere safe and warm.” ― Ville Valo

Sorry if this made no sense...
Amy